CHIMERA

Being 20  is good ..new hope with  a new stage..
"Stage" because  number with teen written behind them would never appear in my age.





..from the DAY we realize that our mind, body and hormones will  put us into a situation  where a  human... but only with few  changes here and there .. will so strongly captivate and bewitch  us that normal desires and aims which were so easy to be engrossed till now..would suddenly look like a bubble..

LOVE, ATTRACTION and BOYS are few topics from which I usually abstain ..may be because of my upbringing..and may be because.  at times I was busy with studies, other time with few drastic problems of life  ..that even the boys who mattered and allured me were the ones I have least cared about ..

But  as I have grown up ...Now what?


well sorry to inform ..I am down in dumps..
LOVE still.. is a CHIMERA for me..


CHIMERA.... because I have seen the general  proceedings..which normally occurs when two opposite sexes are mousetrapped..and  later they both agree that...yes we are spellbind..
I would not name it love..because love(though not experienced)..carries a great meaning,,
And attainment of the things I attach with the meaning of love..will always be a CHIMERA...

LOVE??

when two minds connect with each other so strongly that when one leaves other stops working..

when two souls connect with each other so strongly that when one wonders ,other comes to accompany..

when two hearts connect  with each other so strongly that when one stops ,other comes to pump it

But these definitions (by me ofcourse!!)  are CHIMERA..

I have seen ..even the beautiful souls in unnerving situations..when one mind connected..when one wondered..when one heart connected but the other one was busy checking and fooling around..
leading the first one to confirm that love does not exist..

Therefore 2O certainly will force me to find the mind,soul and heart ..I desire for

But to find one in the world of today is nothing more then a CHIMERA for a girl like me.........

?

To grow up is the biggest issue ever.with..heart of  *small,puerile child* .who wants to grow up? ...no one...!!..
LOOKING at our previous activities ,though a thought persist that ..yeah!I hve grown up a bit..i act like a thoda thoda matured child now,butttt those biggy big people with  so called practical thinking and practical mindset will always make u realize 'my child!you are still a child".its high time now ..start acting like a big,Indian.girl.all dressed up in  a good way..carrying a smile of queen Elizabeth ...arey ghanta!..what if we never want to grow up!no one is ever gonna understand that.
arey chalo chuck the parents.Parents ought to tell that,its there duty..I mean at some point of time we sandwitched children or youth of 21st century very efficiently and tactfully imbibe the so called technique of  avoidance and ignoring the things they say..but what about those  girls....no not girls.mem sahabs...or say sophisticated  *AUNTIES* ,all dressed up in good attire speaking ..so  slowly.,,aghhh! nd teaching you too to blab in the same manner...
and there is one more problem..if a girl blab..and shouts like a boy..she is just told one thing*beta shaadi nahi karega koi aapse*....again ...ghanta!....
just by looking   matured..acting matured...one switches from teen to  adults..who actually are mean..
I mean what about  growing your brain...I mean half of the so called *mem sahabs* I have  seen are brainlessss!...but  *brain* part ...is something which is ignored most of the time ..when we talk about girls ..because as  far as what I have observed is that everyone favours or likes a lame  and beautiful girl.
but all I want to say and tell them is blahhhhhh!

young girls...after manstruation!

well,i wanted to write dis ...after that  callous  "rape incident"...but as I am not having any p.c right now...so I had to wait..
....we are girls...life is not so easy for us..specially when you are ambitious. today..it hurts me a lot when most of the jokes are made..on a girl's body...!
I am a very complicated girl..and when you are complicated,,,things are tougher...

I  remember..first time i had manstruation...i was in shock ..psychologically "disturbed"...not because it happened  ....but because ,,,someone told me ..its going to happen...every  month..I was disturbed.. because....it would stop me to compete with boys who would not face that "disaster" every month...I will have to worry about this "shit"  ..every month...I  was perturbed and petrified at the same time...I felt like not talking to anyone...felt like its the end of world for me...I could not play..and jump around like before..
but sooner..in 3 or 4 years..I or "any girl" get used  to it.but wait thats not the end...what was more diasastrous was to hide that  so.. called "taboo".."anathema" in India...from boys...not letting them know anything... I mean what the helll!!...

It was at the starting but..more things were to follow...I have keep myself "safe" and "away" frm those "staring" animals..wondering on roads....because you know whats the biggest "ASSet" for a girl...."TO SAVE HER VIRGINITY"....

 things are too much difficult for us....because..even if we want todo  something big or something beyond ..our parents are afraid..because...they and even I don't know what going on whose mind...who is who...its like we r so called "shikar"...ready to be eaten at any time...but tell you one more thing..we  girls can differentiate ..even "a touch"...WHO IS THINKING  what..


......its like" living in world where every other eyes says something...but ..what is that "saying"..is too hard to understand...its like trusting that guy ..but wait..thinking at other moment..no he can be bad for you..life is complicated for us..the gender opposite to us has become like a ..like a ghost..like an enemy...!!

but WE  the girls .still don"t CARE...because..to be a women..is to be a god..because we..the women..will flourish the world....

the only reason to write this..just understnand the complexity of a girl's life...love them ..ADORE them..